She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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