there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
