did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
