I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
two words: eviction party
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
