Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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