I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
