Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
