I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
