maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
