I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
