This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
