My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
