So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
