just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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