if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
