Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
