I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
