what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
