Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
