theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize