she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
