how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
