Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
