perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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