you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
