so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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