New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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