u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
