yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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