I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
