Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
