I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
