he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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