Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
