thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
