guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
