Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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