I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
