exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
