we have pet lesbian snakes
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
