I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
