I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
