I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I fill condoms, not promises.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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