I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
