I just pynch a tree in the face
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
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