it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think people are normalizing furries
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
