By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
