I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
