better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
