I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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