theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
