How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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