Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
