Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
