I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
