i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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