I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
