Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
