That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
