shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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