matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
