Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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