big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
