dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
