no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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