forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
