Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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