I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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