I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
