If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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