the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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