We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
