Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
