why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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