just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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