I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
